


Felicity vs Iris: Battle Of The Mary Sues

by changingdestiny4



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Epic Superpowered Catfight, Gen, Humor, Loser Iris, Parody, SUPER-BOWL-TOON SANDWICH YouTube Animated Fight Videos Inspired, Serious Undertone, Winner Felicity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:48:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23679409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/changingdestiny4/pseuds/changingdestiny4
Summary: Felicity and Iris are forced to compete against each other in an epic, super powered showdown for the championship title of the ultimate Mary Sue of their franchise.(Warning!! Fight ending not for Iris West fans, and one of the women will be knocked out.)
Comments: 13
Kudos: 4





	Felicity vs Iris: Battle Of The Mary Sues

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Bl4ckHunter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bl4ckHunter/gifts), [Aragorn_II_Elessar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aragorn_II_Elessar/gifts).



> This parodic one shot, but with a serious undertone, is somewhat inspired by a similar one shot written by Bl4ckhunter in regards to the two ladies here. The main reason I’m writing it however is because one of his commenters for that story stated within said comment that he’d love to read a scene in which Iris was knocked out. Because of that, I’ve decided to take it upon myself to make the commenter’s wish a reality.
> 
> I’m also writing it because I want to share my belief as to why I think Felicity is a bigger Mary Sue than Iris.
> 
> For fun, I’ll be using the setting of the SUPER-BOWL!-TOON SANDWICH animated fight videos from YouTube for the Felicity vs Iris knockdown drag out, but with the Grammy Awards statue presiding since the two women are from television.

All of a sudden, Felicity found herself awakening inside of a sandy brown colored, square shaped room. And worse, she was as naked as the day she was born, causing her to let out an indignant squeak.

“What is going on!!? Where am I!!? If this is someone’s idea of a practical joke then it’s so not funny!!”, she yelled out at whoever her captors were while using her hands to cover her breasts. Suddenly, she heard a mysterious and slightly booming, but distinctly feminine, voice addressing her.

“ _Arise warrior, the battle is about to begin. Put on your uniform and enter the arena”_ , it said to her as she turned and saw a round golden ball hovering before her, looking remarkably like one of those round portions of the Golden Globes Award statues. She then turned and saw a set of clothes in the form of a pink shirt and black pants, the same clothes she wore when she met Oliver for the first time.

After putting on her given clothes, she addressed the round golden ball before her.

“Alright. Where the heck am I and why have you taken me here? What is the world is going on here?”, she kept asking, desperately wanting some answers while trying to figure out a way to escape this current situation she’d found herself in. The voice said nothing more at the moment though the golden ball gestured for her to follow it. While feeling put out by this series of events, she decided to follow the ball as it led her down the hallways and to what appeared to be an exit door.

Felicity was momentarily relieved, thinking that she was about to be set free from whatever sick joke this appeared to be. But as she exited the door, she found herself entering into a large, round, golden arena and with a crowd of golden looking people sitting and cheering in the arena’s seats above her.

Meanwhile, as all of this was happening, Iris West also, upon awakening, found herself in a sandy brown colored and square shaped room, also completely nude, causing her to scream in horror and lift her hands to cover her own breasts. She also heard the mysterious feminine voice speaking to her as well.

_“Arise warrior. The battle is about to begin. Put on your uniform and enter the arena”_ , it said to her, giving her the same instructions it had given to Felicity. Looking to see what uniform the voice was referring to, Iris looked down and saw a pile of clothes consisting of a white shirt, grey jacket, and black pants. Most certainly not wanting to remain nude any longer than she needed to, she quickly put on her given clothes and then addressed the voice.

“Alright whoever you are. What the he** is going on here and why was I naked!!? You’d better let me go immediately”, she yelled at whoever seemed to be playing this messed up joke on her. She then noticed as a golden ball, the same kind that had beckoned Felicity, was also beckoning to for her to follow it. Annoyed like Felicity was about this whole thing but also having no choice, she also followed the ball until it led her through a door which, upon exiting, she also found herself in the same arena and saw the cheering, and golden looking, crowds seated above her. As she looked around, trying to make sense of it all, she suddenly noticed Felicity across from her.

“Felicity? Is that you? What in the world are you doing here and where are we?”, Iris exclaimed, shocked to see the other woman and hoping she had answers.

Felicity was also pretty shocked to see Iris, followed by the former shrugging her shoulders in response.

“Honestly I don’t even know or know anything about what’s going on. I’m just as in the dark as you are”, Felicity admitted. “I’m honestly surprised to see you here as well.”

Before they could continue discussing their current predicament, the voice addressed them once more.

_“Felicity Smoak and Iris West, you are both here to decide, once and for all, which of the two of you is the far worse character, and in turn the ultimate Mary Sue, of the Arrowverse. It shall be decided by the two of you in physical combat and the one who wins shall be recognized by me as the Arrowverse’s ultimate Mary Sue._

_“You both shall also be able to create abilities and conjure whatsoever you desire, using your minds for both purposes.”_

Out of all the things they’d expected to be doing in their lives, this was not one of them. Physical combat, and all to figure out which one of them was more of a Mary Sue? Frankly, as far either woman was concerned, they were the true Mary Sue of the franchise and believed the other was deluded if they thought the same.

However it did not look like they’d be let go until they did what their captor wanted and honestly, a nice beat down seemed like a great way to prove their self-absorbed worth as the Mary Sue champions.

“I suppose we might as well do whatever our jailer wants Felicity, since neither of us will be leaving here until we do as they ask”, Iris stated in acquiescence to their current predicament, and then added with a smirk, “But be prepared to fall before me for I am obviously the greatest Mary Sue here”.

Felicity laughed loudly at this proclamation from the other woman.

“Oh you wish. I’m actually the greatest Mary Sue here and you’re very deluded to even think that you are. And it shall be proven once I knock your butt to the ground”, Felicity haughtily responded to the other woman’s words. And then not saying any more, for now, she and Iris made their own version of a battle stance, the former with her fists up like Oliver would while the latter bent downward in a running stance like Barry would. The mystery voice then uttered one single word in response.

_“Fight”_. And to that end, Felicity and Iris let out their own shrill battle cry and charged each other, meeting each other in the middle, and the battle began.

The women spent the next few minutes wrestling each other, pulling at each other’s hair, kicking and screaming at each other, scratching each other, and rolling around on the ground while trading punches. As they continued to fight, neither of them were willing to give ground and kept demanding that the other surrender.

“Give it up Felicity. We both know I’m the true Mary Sue between the two of us”, Iris insisted while having Felicity’s neck wrapped in her arms in a chokehold. “After all, I used to be emotionally abusive to Barry and was never called out for it. Not to mention that I manipulated him into going to therapy just to force him to confront issues I wanted to confront.”

“Oh yeah? Well guess what? Not only was I emotionally abusive towards Oliver, I actually did it to him many more times than you did to Barry”, Felicity countered while struggling against the chokehold. “Furthermore, while what you did was extremely crappy and very out of order, you did have some legitimate issues and grains of truth within your reasons for your actions in regards to taking him to therapy, issues which certainly needed to be addressed, at least in regards to things not being the same. Whereas when I confronted Oliver over William, my words were just hot air and mainly emotional abuse since I had no say in the matter.”

After a little more struggling, Felicity, utilizing a trick taught to her by Sara, jabbed her elbow into her opponent’s side, breaking free. After which she quickly kept up and, using her mind, conjured herself into a fully armored knight, on top of a majestic battle horse, and holding a long lance in her right hand.

Iris, upon seeing this and most certainly not wanting to be outdone, also transformed herself into an armored knight and riding a majestic battle horse of her own while holding her own lance. Once done, the two women pointed their respective lances towards each other and began a joust, riding their horses towards each other as they eagerly looked forward to knocking the other off of their horses.

Faster and faster they rode their horses towards each other, the sounds of heavy galloping heard as the crowds above them roared with anticipation. As soon as they reached each other, they lifted up their lances and swung them towards each other hard, knocking both women off of their horses and sending them crashing them to the ground, the joust officially a draw.

Getting up and dusting themselves off, Felicity then gave herself super speed while Iris gave herself flight and heat vision, and they raced each other with Felicity racing around the arena while Iris flew above her and continuously fired bolts of energy from her eyes. As this continued, they kept leveling taunts at each other.

“Just give it up already Fefe, I am undoubtedly the greatest Mary Sue around. After all I suppressed my own daughter’s powers and lied to her about them and her family all of her life”, Iris yelled out arrogantly, certain she was going to win this round. Felicity responded with a chuckle.

“Oh yeah? How about when I ever so rudely interrupted yours and Barry’s wedding? Maybe what you did was bordering on horrible towards your daughter, and creating a relationship with her based upon lies is definitely a terrible thing to do, but there was probably a part of you that did it to protect her so that no one would learn about and exploit her powers. I interrupted your wedding however for purely selfish reasons and without regard or concern for anyone else except my own best interests, leaving only me to benefit. Not to mention that your daughter called you out for your actions, even if she later ended up on your side, but no one’s ever called me out for wedding-gate.

“Oh, and I’ve also kept more unnecessary secrets than you have. So chew on all of that Westie.”

Iris screamed angrily upon hearing this counter and fired particularly powerful energy beams from her eyes, blasting the ground and in turn resulting in the speeding Felicity being tossed upwards from said ground due to the shockwave crashing into her. Her body went upwards and then downwards until she found herself sprawled onto the ground.

Iris landed across from her and smirked at the fallen woman, reveling in her current victory. But after a very short respite to get her breath back, Felicity bounced back onto her feet, pulled out a heavy duty machine gun out of thin air, and then began rapidly firing it at Iris. In response, Iris quickly bended her upper torso backwards and allowed the barrage of bullets to fly around her, like Neo from _“The Matrix”_ , which continued until she had the unfavorable moment of one bullet hitting her right in the shoulder through and through, causing her to let out a yelp of pain as she clutched her shoulder, whining and crying.

Felicity on her part just looked at her with a smug expression.

“Oh I’m so sorry sweetie. Is that a boo-boo you have there?”, she asked in a sickeningly sweet tone and with obviously fake concern and a pout. Iris was getting really infuriated at this point, causing literal steam to come out of her ears. Using her mind to heal her wound, she pulled out a lightsaber, igniting its blade, and then charged her adversary. Felicity responded with her own lightsaber and met her head on, sending the lightsabers clashing together.

As they fought each other, lightsabers clashing upwards, downwards, forwards, and backwards, one of their spectators got out their cell phone and using their playlist, selected the theme song _“Duel Of The Fates”_ , the song from the Anakin Skywalker vs Obi-Wan Kenobi duel when they first fought as enemies, and played it loudly throughout the duration of the lightsaber battle, the song almost blasting throughout the arena.

Felicity and Iris also performed epic flips, mimicking the powers of the Force, and then held out their hands towards each other, open palms faced forwards, pushing invisible energy towards the other until the resulting wave from each of their hands sent them flying far backwards.

Getting up, Iris then pulled out her own copy of Mjolnir, Thor’s hammer, and used it to create a tornado which she then flew inside of and used it to transport herself around the arena, trying to finish off Felicity in it. Felicity in turn was the next to give herself the ability of flight and she flew into it after Iris, pulling out a sword for herself. The women then began a sword and hammer fight as they clashed both weapons together while flying around inside of the hurricane.

“Feel heaven’s wrath!!”, Iris demanded intensely as she ferociously battered her hammer against Felicity’s sword.

“Your will, submit, to me!!”, Felicity returned with intensity while fighting back with her sword just as ferociously.

Back and forth they fought while continuing to fly as the tornado they were inside of continued to whirl while their flowing hair billowed in the wind it produced.

Soon Felicity and Iris left the tornado and flew back to the ground, allowing it to disintegrate, and then once more stood across from each other. Facing each other with borderline hatred at this point while their eyes glowed with anger, Felicity suddenly lifted her hands and unleashed beams of glowing green energy from them and straight towards Iris, the latter responding by creating a massive red shield by which to catch the beams.

The two women held their ground for a while, growling and sweating a bit at the struggle as they pushed their respective beams and shield back and forth. As they did, they continued on with the taunts.

“I’ll, tell, you, why, I’m, the, greater, Mary, Sue here”, Iris struggled to get out as she used her sword to push the beams back into Felicity. “Not only, did, I, have the temerity, to say, that Thawne, Barry’s mortal enemy, maybe had the right idea, but I also, had Barry fire, Speed Force lighting, at himself to stop, his suit’s self-destruct sequence even though our friends, one a doctor, and the other an engineer, who also designed the suit, said that my risky idea could, hurt, or, kill, him. I’ll, bet, that, you never, did that to your precious Ollie.”

For a moment, Felicity was stumped. That was actually one of worst things Iris could’ve done by risking Barry’s life that way. For a moment she was afraid she was about to lose this match and began to falter. Iris on her part was certain that she’d finally proven her point and that victory was within her grasp. Her confidence renewed, she pushed her shield harder into Felicity’s beams, causing the former to feel her energy pushing her backwards and her struggle to increase.

Suddenly, as it appeared that she was on the verge of defeat, a powerful epiphany suddenly slammed into her mind out of nowhere and not just any epiphany, but a trump card and the key to her victory. Feeling reinvigorated, Felicity pushed her beams with renewed energy and began to make cracks in Iris’s shield.

Iris on her part, believing she had the other woman cornered, was stunned by Felicity’s resurgence while the former did her best to maintain her shield’s integrity but failing.

“What is this? How are you doing this? I had you beaten, proved that I was the greater Mary Sue. What is happening!!?”, a shocked and astonished Iris exclaimed, astounded by this turn of events.

Felicity grinned smugly.

“It seems that something came to me at the last second, something which proved that I was right all along, something which will crush you”, she proudly replied to her rival before her. “You see, while you have done all of those things, and perhaps more, and while I’ve done my own crap, I’ve gone further than you have in not only joining a cyberterrorist network, even if it was to free a friend and stop a psychopath, but I took it further and while with them, VIOLATED NATIONAL SECURITY!!

“I hacked into the Homeland Security drones on the group’s orders and willingly moved them away from their position, putting our nation at risk and potentially making it vulnerable to other terrorists and our enemies. I believed that I thought I was doing the right thing and did not fully take into account that it was the wrong thing and one of the worst things I could’ve done.

“So you see Westie, while we have both been emotionally abusive towards our husbands, arrogant and bossy, and overly emotional, and done some very crappy stuff, none of your actions went so far as to put your entire nation, the land you were born into an made an oath towards, at risk, betray and help attack your government friends who’ve been nothing but good to you and supportive of your vigilantism, and violate national security.

“And while having your husband fire lighting into his suit was very reckless and dangerous, you were still trying to save him from going kaboom. And since high treason is far worse than that, and emotional abuse, and all of the wrongdoing of yours which you listed during our back and forth, that makes me, Felicity Megan Smoak, THE ULTIMATE MARY SUE OF THE WHOLE DA** ARROWVERSE!!”

And with that, Felicity poured an intense level of extra energy into the pure energy beams she was currently firing from her hands and unleashed it all towards her opponent with a mighty shout, its force penetrating the latter’s shield and causing it to shatter into pieces, and slamming with tremendous force into Iris who was unable to stop it. The resulting collision, combined with the shockwave, sent her blasting backwards across the arena and then down onto the ground with a hard _thud_ , knocking her unconscious.

Now victorious, Felicity strolled over towards the unconscious woman and looked her over, and wow. Iris was really and truly unconscious, as in out cold. So out cold that if you did not know any better, you’d think she was comatose.

Pleased with herself for having knocked Iris out, Felicity let out a happy squeal and then started doing an Irish jig, a la Michael Flatley style. In response, the same spectator who played _“Duel Of The Fates”_ now selected the upbeat portion of the music near the end of _“Reel Around The Sun”_ , from the soundtrack for the Iris dance group _Riverdance_ , and played it loudly, causing Felicity to really get into her jig while the audience above clapped to it and the music.

Following her victory, the mysterious feminine voice addressed her again.

_“Felicity Smoak, you, are the ultimate, Mary Sue, of the Arrowverse.”_

“Well of course I am, and it feels amazing to be the winner”, Felicity replied happily. At that moment, a beam of blue light shot down from an almost massive golden object, which had been hovering above the arena the entire time and also looked just like the round portion of the Golden Globe Awards statue, and enveloped her. After which it pulled her upwards and into a hole at the bottom of the round object, where she came face to face with a person shrouded in shadow and sitting on what appeared to be a throne.

_“I suppose you’re just consumed with curiosity as to who I am and why you were brought here to begin with”_ , the voice, now revealed to be coming from this person, said to her.

“Well I can’t say I have not been highly curious as to the identity of my jailer and it would be really wonderful to see you face to face. So yeah, who the he** are you and just what was this all about!?”, Felicity replied and then asked firmly, arms filed while tapping her foot impatiently.

The figure on the throne made a gesture with her hand, resulting in the lights around them being turned on, giving Felicity a good look at this being. It was definitely feminine, as she’d already surmised based upon the latter’s voice. The being had a short, but angular hairstyle similar to the classic female hairstyle of the 40s-60s U.S. The entirety of her face and body was made of pure gold and she wore a strapless and sleeveless elegant golden dress that reached down a little past her knees before stopping.

She was also adorned with golden wings that protruded from her shoulder blades and curved straight upwards into the sir.

Felicity gasped upon recognizing her.

“Oh my gosh, you’re the Emmy Award statue lady. I mean woah! Never thought I’d ever meet a live and talking version of her I mean oh my goodness I mean wow and now I’m going to stop talking in 3,2,1”, she rambled before managing to get ahold of herself. The being smirked at the blonde’s rambling.

_“Call me Emmy. And now to explain to you why you and Iris were brought here, it was because it’s a side hobby of mine. You see, I periodically select two random individuals from inside of a dimension known as the fourth wall, where those outside of it see yours and others lives on the inside as television programs, and have those two fight in an epic battle to see who is the ultimate whatever. Just a fun hobby of mine._

_“You might also know my brother. His name is Oscar, and he’s who you’d recognize as the statue representation for the awards show The Oscars. He also likes to host events similar to mine, only for the movies however since that’s what his awards show is for, but on a grander scale and with numerous participants from a variety of movies. He’s even posted many of his videos on YouTube which are entitled SUPER-BOWL!-TOON SANDWICH. I however prefer more low key events such as only two combatants like yourself and Iris, and boy was it a spectacle to behold.”_

Felicity found herself intrigued by other woman’s explanation, and was not too surprised that there was a realm out there in which people thought she was a television program considering all of the strange and out of this world moments she’d seen and lived through.

“Well I cannot say that I’m pleased about someone kidnapping me and just to provide entertainment for themselves and a bunch of other spectators, but at the same time I’m glad I was able to give you a show, and maybe I’ll check out your brother’s videos someday, provided you’re going to let me go”, she replied with her eyebrows raised, really wanting to return home.

Emmy smiled.

_“Of course. Both you and Iris are free to go”_ , she responded with congeniality, and then added, _“But before you do, there’s another counter you probably should’ve given to Miss West to further cement your victory.”_

“What would that be Miss Emmy? Please tell me so that I can stick it to Iris again if I ever need to”, Felicity asked intrigued.

_“Just two things. First, according to my observations, but while both Iris and yourself have been rewritten into far more tolerable, highly emotionally disciplined characters in your S6’s while the emotional abuse towards your husbands was erased, you are still the worst character since your 96% cleanse came at the expense of making your old and new friends look like stupid or horrible people. Whereas Iris’s so far 99% cleanse has not done that to her friends”_ , Emmy explained, and then continued.

_“Secondly, you misbehaved in that season at least 3 times while she’s so far only misbehaved once in hers. Thereby, just as you’ve told her before you struck her down, but while you both have been emotionally abusive and done a lot of very crappy things, you take the cake since little miss Westie, as you called her, in all of the lines she’s crossed, has never gone so far as to violate the security of an entire nation and in turn commit high treason, which exceeds anything she’s done._

_“Oh, and not to mention having never been willing to let an entire city fall for revenge like your friend Dinah once did before being softened up, but let’s not open that can of worms since Dinah was not a part of this competition. And so you are the Mary Sue champion of this duel.”_

Felicity smacked her hand onto her face.

“Da** it! I wish I’d thought of that”, she muttered, and then shrugged. “Oh well. At least I’ll have that if she messes with me after we’re back home. And speaking of which, please send us both home immediately!”.

_“Of course”_ , Emmy answered, and waving her hand, she transported Felicity and a still unconscious Iris back to their homes and cities where the former would treat herself to a yummy banana split while dancing in the room as Iris would take what seemed like ages before she’d awaken and after which would spend the rest of the day sulking at her defeat while mumbling threats against Iris.

Meanwhile Emmy on her part just reclined on her throne with a content smile.

_“It is so much fun to be queen”_ , she sighed happily to herself while mentally planning for the next duel in her arena and wondering what her brother was currently up to with his battle royal tournaments.

**The End**

**Author's Note:**

> So how did I do? Was the battle comedic and entertaining or corny and dumb? Please let me know in the comments if you want.
> 
> Also, in regards to Emmy’s words about Felicity making everyone else look bad while Iris did not in their respective S6’s, those words were spoken by Bl4ckhunter and which he granted me permission to use here.
> 
> On a side note, if anyone's wondering when Felicity misbehaved three times in S6, it was when she named hers and Curtis's company without consulting him, though she was called out for it and apologized, broke the chain of command by spying on the team without consulting Oliver first even though the spying was necessary due to Rene and Dinah, and disrespecting Nyssa.
> 
> As for Iris this season, Bl4ckhunter pointed out to me that she was a bit reckless in 6x10, though I personally don't think it was as bad as it could've been for one or two reasons but that's me.
> 
> Also, to be clear, I do not hate Felicity or Iris. Quite the opposite for the most part in regards to the latter while being indifferent to the former, though I do like Felicity’s funny and quirky moments and her relationship with William. And I’m not a racist or a traitor to my race just because I knocked Iris out cold. 
> 
> This was written to provide, hopefully with the use of bare bone and straight forward facts, an opinion of mine regarding why I think Felicity’s a greater Mary Sue, and in a hopefully funny, silly, and entertaining fashion while also fulfilling the wish of another story's commenter to see Iris get punched unconscious.
> 
> However, if there was anything that came off as pushy and not entertaining, please let me know and I’ll edit it out.
> 
> I'm going to bed very shortly, please stay safe, and have a wonderful day.


End file.
